Hibernation While Still On Beast Mode

When you have to hibernate while keeping things on course the way learned when unexpectedly before.

The point of learning from past trials is how to over come planed goals that call for same environment and mental rigors of those unexpected ones with ones expected. Very proud of this progress. The point when you are so confident and comfortable with all that will be and has been. When you see your dreams coming true though you must work harder than you ever imagined, you know you will be okay. You learn through much that if you went through worst, why not go through this like a breeze? Because you already proved to yourself before through the initial times you made it out. Those you lost were later seen to be blessings, blessings you now make on a regular back into the universe those negative elements go for you to receive breathe of positivity. Exhale the negative and inhale the positive, breathe.

I am so honored for my scars that still have many healing. Just now it does not sting when sour shit is put on them as reminders. I just counter it with alcohol now that I apply. I apply my hurt and the solution. I have found my MO as to dealing and have no qualms about them. I do not deal with snakes, that will never change. I do not do well with certain ways of people and understand we do not need to be friends. I just do not have to be in their presence if I can help it. I do not accept anyone's judgement either. Last I recall, I never saw them in the trenches with me to witness all not said. Like they say, "You weren't with me shooting in the gym?" Were you?

Being Strong Does Not Mean One Is Not In Need Of Help

Malice towards the strong can weigh them down. When you realize the same MO towards you while the same comment made, "You are strong, I know you will find a way" makes it clear it is no coincidence. Save that for your mamma is my sentiment to this BS.

To be honest, my feelings can be hurt if I were to keep company that made me feel unwanted. Some alienate you so much it became second nature in how they address you in their life. Once you peep this is the case, one should not take it to heart for long, Cry if it compels you to, go through the motions and rationalize the next course of action.

The one thing though, I fair better than the weak minded individual. Yet when you have family, friends and acquaintances come at you all the same way it has one like me re-evaluating much about society and others in my immediate circle of circumstances. I found my solace and do not beat myself up wondering why me anymore. The one thing I do know is I do not let myself be there more for anyone than they are for me. Some things are unconditional and when there is true genuine respect with love, one tends to want to fix the disparities brought to their attention. When you realize it is addressed but not maintained as in the compromise agreed upon whether silently and implied or verbally expressed,

My kick now is just to be grateful for my good group of friend who are like family who love me unconditionally. This use to feel funny, friends being there for you emotionally, physically and mentally more than your own blood. Yet in my case I am not an easy person in my family to approach since so many like to ignore the huge ass elephant smack dab in the living room, I am not one to keep my opinion or feelings in. Especially after my Cancer scare. No one, I refuse, will have me hold anything in that bothers me anymore. I find ways to let it out and move on when good and ready, I no longer hold another persons opinion as to what to do weight more than my own assessments of the situation I know better than them. Many fail to remember how they too are when telling a story to another, the whole truth is never told. There is more to it and thus why one has to take in all they are dealing with, current circumstances, and resources to best decide. That is a weight I use to carry living in the household I grew up in. When so many layers have been ignored and one like I who has never had closure or even acknowledgement of their feelings just chooses not to be reminded of that aspect. So I do make myself ghost and no one has the right to fault me. I am in the preservation of my own sanity phase of my evolution. I am taking all day by day.

SEO Work Related, Yet So In Tune With Many Other Life Decisions

In an effort to focus more Search Engine Optimization (SEO for short) still to be done I am just throwing in the towel with Twitter. Lol. The week of maintaining so many platforms, I am deciding to become more efficient with Twitter. Decided to purchase a year of unfollowers.com. Use to do it manually, blocking accounts spammy or unfollowing switchers, with aid of tools. Now with my current choice it is a must in next phase of focusing on school while the youth take over HAY.

That always was the point. I want degrees, yes plural and all up to now has been due to this ultimate goal in mindset. Roller-coaster it was and is, but I always wanted to be in school all my life while giving back through the knowledge with tools learned to make task more efficient. Learning life-skills and addressing those disparities in the next generation, namely our kids is important. I want it all and so far what I wanted so badly I got, the good along with the bad.

We attract all we get in life and that fact many love to take a trip down "D Nile", lol. Yet, really ask yourself this, why would you want your children to go through the anguish you have? Is it not the want for all parents to steer their children clear of the pitfalls that have had some of us cringe remembering? I know this one truth, I will succeed because life has shown the many hard times overcome and still standing. Just learning, absorbing and correcting. Try it!

Never Hurt Yourself Helping Others

Sometimes one can sense another's unspoken disdain. When you feel you are being a broken record, always venting the same bull you honestly keep going through, you stop talking. Stop talking to the same people. I find this writing as a release for me on here as my diary always was. The need to really show many who are wayward as I once was, that there is a brighter outcome. Just some do not get that handed to them even after years of let downs self-inflicted or imposed by others. Some like I realize we go through it to better help another not to.

 A line I say to my younger siblings is, "You do not want to end up like me?" Not to say I am a bad person, just to show them what putting yourself last does to you. Never, be so helping, you help yourself into destitution. When there, that low point many times many things you would never do are presented to you. Thankful I never end up doing something I regret, but the things I have gone through help me see why so easy to succumb to the pressures some do.