Goddess-Isis C. Duperval, She Is Amazing

Goddess-Isis C. Duperval

Today she is a one month and a day old newborn growing stronger and smarter. On a schedule which is good, just the duties of motherhood with juggling daily life.

Yet,

She is so amazing!!!

She is also the reason for no sleep, eeks!!!

Goddess-Isis, mommy's nicest.

She is smart, beautiful, intelligent,  and lovable! 

Postpartum Depression, Sorting It Out

Very important to notice changes and act. Happy I found a release but last week I felt hopeless and so fatigued to even sort all the jumbled thoughts. Yet, when you have a partner working on being more helpful to let you sleep, it makes a big difference. Sleep deprivation is no joke and just resting if afforded the chance clears your mental. I was at a point to let every obligation go because the every hour and half to two hour alerts from a newborn they need the boob or bottle or to be changed was brutal. Now, focus is on having constant support in getting feelings out and figuring out a routine that works. Did not feel needs were being heard and acted on. Hard to deal with too when not use to asking for help with everything from breakfast to getting in and out of bed. So for now slowly getting into the groove of having a newborn.

Baby News: My Daughter, Goddess-Isis Is Here

The past year has been a doozy!
From unexpected sudden deaths and learning pregnant to finding out dad is battling Prostate Cancer, much has been autopilot mode.

I have not been able to breathe and now feeling the baby blues when not mentally occupied. I am the type that can put emotions aside easily and get work done. Just having a beautiful little girl and feeling overwhelmed is much now a days.

When I try to divulge feelings, I am told to not stress and reminded to take it easy but I am not able to. I need to get back into my element and meditate more with retreat more in me time when not occupied.

Just seeing this face makes me happy inside :)

Daddy Duperval with Goddess-Isis Duperval

I am just as with much past few years, taking all that comes my way lightly.

Avoiding stressors as much as I can.

Start working out at fitness park near me and get back into crystal healing.

Just happy closer to VonRoss and he bonds so well with Isis. I had Rossline who comforts me in prayer with thoughts, I enjoy my VonRoss and Isis in life relishing in their pleasures.

Now back to work and regrouping back into Haitian American Youth Online Media Productions ;) ...

Father's Day Chronicles: My Son's Dad

My Son and His Dad at The Museum of Discovery & Science (Fort Lauderdale)

One may feel I am feeling my son's father for sharing a post about him and not the case. We are not compatible but we are both mature enough to take care of what we both created in an amicable way. I am one who loves to encourage greatness. Men get the raw deal from disgruntle "Baby Mama's". I for one will not label myself one and make sure to always thank his father for all he does. Men, especially black men need to be acknowledged for being there and taking care of their kids.

Now for us as in parents, we are always striving to be the best we can. We never fight or argue in front of him after the first and last time he ever saw such thing. That was the day I left for my sanity. It was getting ugly. The one thing I prayed for, knock on wood, I got is our being able to parent our son and not be nasty to one another. We have been through it in the ten years off and on relationship till we finally four years ago ended it. So with Father's Day looming near, I just as always want to put it out there in the universe, I am thankful for my son's father.

Soon my boyfriend will be a first-time daddy and I know he will be a great father as well. We are both excited for the arrival of "Might Isis"!

The Stitch: My Cerclage Procedure

On May 13th I had a McDonald Cerclage put in to keep Mighty Isis in.

At Northwest Medical Center where Dr. Zafran my Obstetrician did the procedure all my nurses were awesome!

Now, the anesthesia took a bit to wear off. It was done quick, the stitch put in at 7:40 all done by 8:10

A week later, feeling better.

Why The Silence Online, My Pregnancy

Mind and energy better. Just physical pain still getting use to. Every pregnancy is different as they say. Just want to make it past seven months with all test results coming back positive as they have when it pertains to the baby. Me, on other hand is having all types of complications.

I have been very reserved for good reason in sharing all details. Just know every other week in an ER. Dealing with many losses including a livebirth loss among having three pregnancies with one miracle baby makes one like me take caution in sharing joys of expecting. It is a pain that never goes away, the loss of a child but this year I faired better.

A man I soon shall be united with came around and was there for me this month when no other was on my baby's anniversary of birth and passing 28 hours later. I do not harbor contempt for another who does not care or acknowledge her birthday since she came suddenly and went suddenly. Just, I am human and as many wish birthdays or reach out to those who lost loved ones, I do my remembrance alone.

So the fact communication was never an issue, just how my beau and I do so was makes me assured I made right decission. Much growth on both our parts and just humbled I had someone for the first time acknowledge my Rosslyn without being told. I guess being pregnant and working hard on not stressing over the major tear jerkers to add to current health concerns made me stop my March tears and sleeping with her ern every night. By her April 17th birthday I stopped crying and had a smooth April 18th memorial of her in my heart this year. Just something I am use to, getting over major hurts, on my own. As for some who can truly relate, I have had to deal alone for real, for real. While I do not have many who reach out. Many have family, friends or others even if only one who remembered them to even say, "How you doing?" when it really counts for them.

Not saying all this to throw shade, it is how I feel and happy atleast one is learning me and working hard in their way to show me they want to be there. We all show our pride different and as I have much work to do in tearing down iron walls, so does he. Just feeling better and now off to blog on HAY.

Have a great Sunday!

Loosing My Baby

My only memory of Rosslyn's keepsake given to me day taken off life support. Her diaper she wore, her name tag : Baby Francois, and the knitted outfit the give mothers who loose a child made by a woman who also lost her own. Then the picture they took of her after she passed. It has taken these nine years for me to get here and though tough around these months. The groups or pages I joined like Baby Angels In Heaven and others routine "Pick Me Ups" help. I can talk but some things I do not go into especially with those I stick around, namely kin. Just found my way to stay happy but learned after cancer scare, to not hold in tears or feelings. So these groups help me see what others say and prep me for when I can go that step and be open in one. You can never get over something you beat yourself up over mentally such as a loss. Just this pregnancy was not so smooth when I learned it was a girl. I do feel girls are cursed and worse off when left vulnerable and suseptible to manipulation due to longing for love . So, I post as Cover Photo as part of my yearly ritual if coping and dealing how I see fit. #JustHelps :)