Goddess-Isis C. Duperval, She Is Amazing

Goddess-Isis C. Duperval

Today she is a one month and a day old newborn growing stronger and smarter. On a schedule which is good, just the duties of motherhood with juggling daily life.

Yet,

She is so amazing!!!

She is also the reason for no sleep, eeks!!!

Goddess-Isis, mommy's nicest.

She is smart, beautiful, intelligent,  and lovable! 

Cancer Health - Aquarius Dawn Emergency Trip Turns Into More

Yesterday was not a good day. After having some symptoms I am use to at times news is never nice, I had to go in for an emergency visit to hospital after falling in the shower. The day before I had to catch myself from falling after a dizzy spell while walking to the front door from my car. I know I have Vertigo that was diagnosed when I worked at IHOP a few years back, but all these symptoms at once for a prolonged period is alarming. Then to think I would get certain news as to why feeling tired more and always fatigued quickly I attributed to stress and deaths in just one month, is more hormonal. Yet with all that also being a factor, the appointments I had to make yesterday after my ultrasound show more is of concern. Though I knew things could lead to this outcome, I really did not think so soon after exploratory surgery of another organ showed great images.

It is scary and I work hard not to let things get to me, but I am scared for real. So as I learn that a mass in my ovary has formed while I have been feeling tight pain all of a sudden there bothers me because it reminds me. Reminds me every time before the cancer word was used or alluded to I was always at a stage before a spread. So I feel that there is a reason all my life I was in tune with my body and why I always was brought to the doctors from a young age for ailments within time to avoid worst outcomes. Thus the reason at fourteen to see a Gynecologist for hormonal imbalance issues and poly-cystic ovarian syndrome that was diagnoses after five years of observation was a must too. I know the ropes and always handle the emotional aspect myself since many even if they were present at a visit never care or mention matter again.  At twenty three years of age, abnormal cells were discovered. I went a different route in stress moderation and next visit all cells were gone. 

Fast forward five years and another biopsy shows cells changing at a stage before spreading. Margins reached and their look was concerning. It took three months for an OB to see me with those results because the day they came in I was told I was also pregnant. Instead of abort as I was suggested to and deal with diagnosis and treatment, I kept my son. Just not one to have one done just to get rid.

Very scary and stressing to be pregnant and month one no doctor. At first visit and consult where I hand biopsy results from FAU's specialist, you’re told they cannot provide you prenatal care. Then month two another doctor says no because they can do the OB part but do not specialize in risky pregnancies. 

For one in my then circumstances, an obstetrician who has a specialist they work with and can interpret the bi-weekly results of was a must. A special ultrasound that is 4D on steroids to see every angle of the fetus and your cancerous tissue was a must. So finally I found Royal Palm Medical in Coral Springs who had a specialist (Neonatal Surgeon) at Plantation Hospital I saw every two weeks my entire pregnancy. The women who delivered me were the best and all my follow ups, out-patient procedures and referral to Dr. Ndubisi the best in cancer extraction was reassuring I was in good hands. So right now I am going through a similar situation and look forward to tackling the same each time before, with a clear mind and focus on me. Reducing my output and listening to my body more. Learning to deal with judgments for one can be many things but cannot say they understand what you are going through. I am going through much of this now and that too can be draining. So I stay in my lane. Till next time as I go at it again to avoid worst.

My King, My Son: K. Michelle - A Mother's Prayer [Official Video]

I love this song so much, when it came out I had to buy it with my metro connect funds to buy the whole track to download to my phone. I would play my get crunk in the morning’s music for when I use to work at DirecTV. It was stressful because when you know the queue is "F" with to give some sales all day and others based on numbers to look somewhat fair are spread to those needing a sale. The bull one puts up with for a dollar. Like a prison where they play with rats in a maze the rigged. Just my piece. I like companies who value good people and teach leaders not just put it in their manual. Then to let streets rules of engagement be implemented by management. Not a kiss ass type so this song made me deal till it was just too much. Crystals and meditation sessions did not cut it. Too much. ‪#‎MyRelease ‪#‎MySon ‪#‎MyMotivation

Life Lesson: I Have Moved On, Change In Effect

Today this Mother's Day Sunday, thanks to "Mama D" and Drieve, I started on a new path that affords me the flexibility I needed while making the income to keep on. The only difference is I have learned enough since 1998 when I left home.

I learned so much about myself with the patterns that lead to successes and the ones that lead to downfalls. When you are the one who knows your life. What many say about you to your face who do not know the root why you are treated a way or why you have it tough most of the time, can get to one. Yet, through life's journey and my health reasons I learned quickly to nip those things in the bud that got to me.

One being what people say about me in my face publicly and rumors I hear when brought to my attention. I was there during the times many try to postulate the why's to the little they are told or see. So it gives me solace to know that finally I got what I always longed for. One who understood those like me who truly rejoices in the smallest of acts, can understand why for me, I must acknowledge it.

The act of one being that figure and chance all know one needs and should receive but for some it is not easy to attain when all around you have the "They will be fine" attitude towards. Well I was not and those who dropped the ball should have known better. Known better than to tell their seed they allowed things to be purposely to teach a lesson. Now to come to that same seen at 25 and admit with a late apology they were sorry for holding me back. Sorry does not cut it for all who thought I was a chicken with their head cut off when all I was, was a young girl looking for a home, for real, for real.

Many will never understand why one like I with so many rings of a sad onion to still peel to overcome has to do all this. Some parts I let rot out with them the idea of ever rehashing and making it right. It is not fair to me who has moved on to let anyone come in years later and look for closure. My mental does not need it nor does my health. I wish many who say things along the lines, "Do not rob them of closure," yet they robbed me of 28 years of so much. I waited until my mental was more important. Nancy was more important, which is the ultimate reason my life is how it is. I never put myself first and as I learned to more people had to go. No time for the setbacks and feel that I confronted and discussed all my gripes over and over to switching stories tactics, blatant avoiding the set meeting with pastor and those involved and so much from the age of 10 when much was known. So unannounced to many who feel to lay their opinion, I did my part at ages I was not even supposed to be the one initiating them. So I learn to stop feeling like I must explain because when many realize they are never told the full story, one will do what I do to many now, just listen. I tell all now who come to me with their issues I only know of what you said here is my opinion. No more is one like I going to lay it down as if I have full command of another's truth. #LifeLeassons. 

Aquarius Dawn Reflections: Thank You For Letting Me Breathe, One Step Closer

Today I got to thank my sons grandmother about her help in my dreams becoming a reality. I thanked her for doing for me what I always dreamed of. Stability her son once provided and a chance. Many times those who struggle get through onto the "Other Side". The "Other Side" as in going where their heart dreams of but actually goes towards. All I ever wanted is to be a lifelong student, have kids, raise them with school them at home as I practiced in my private practice as a doctor. Well, the cards I was dealt had a different path I fought with till a few years ago when all again came crashing down around me.

I was to blame like all times before on why my life again was in shambles but this time around I really could not keep on being the laughing stock who cries alone because many take the tears as jealousy when all one is sad about has nothing to do with what all want to gossip about. So then one cries about that, another misunderstanding okay to be discussed among others who do not have the balls to present concerns, but all too comfortable to sit in congregations of two or more with me as the topic.

All I can say is though much in cleaning up is being done in my personal life, the same is going on entrepreneurial wise. I cannot as I prove time and again change ones opinion of anything, but I can peep the disrespect and blatant black balling for one reason or the other. So as I have decided to ignore family more than an occasional interactions. Repair a 30 plus year relationship with estranged mother. Finally realizing a goal that could have been assisted by those one was to look to for help and guidance, I can humbly tell Mama "D" thank you for letting me finally breathe. I am blessed with colleagues whom I spend more time communicating with encouraging me and great friends with family who support me no matter. Sometimes after the storms one puts themselves in just because it is in their nature to want to help, one must remind themselves how truly blessed that worst could have happened but all that has was for a reason. That use to boil me, the constant down falls I put myself through because I worried about all else but me. After 30 plus years being the black sheep, it gets to be enough is enough. I like being among those who truly appreciate my nature, my delivery and understand my reasons. All else please move on and stay in your lane as I do mine. I will gladly help those who just forget, no one held a gun to their heads to even care what I am doing. So, enough is enough.

Blessings Weekends - New Year, New Focus

Man I guess my weekends are blessing weekends. It truly amazes me how many have it out for me because of my never changing ways about me, and yet still always in favor. It can be hard though when many judge and assume. I have been shown I am going to be fine. Each time I feel a shun move from those I came to entrust, bigger and better doors are presented for me to bust right through.

I am a testimony to all those who just feel out of place and find their walk. We are still favored no matter if we do not go about things the same way. So humbling. Some may take this update as conceit but it is just me saying thank you and letting it out how much I have to be thankful for