Where is the Truth?

So why I go in on the phony asses out here that keep it on. We all want better, yet many are hurting the situation "Faking It Till They Make It". Hurting young impressionable youth chances. If they do not know ones struggle how is a positive post alone going to help? How is a picture of one in a cap and gown going to help the one who lacks stability and the know how to get it? Everyone is a critic, mentor or whatever but where are the true "Meat & Potatoes" instructions? Where is the truth?

Let Them Hang: Chris Brown feat. Usher & Rick Ross - New Flame (Explicit Version)

Alright, alright, I find this stuff a bit hilarious and here is a glimpse at one of many things that went through my mind all at once while watching this music video.



Watching Chris Brown tells much to the tight pants wearing men, lol. They need to hang dammit, thee balls. You could hear me say thing to many at FAU when I was going there. Let them breathe and save your future seeds, lol.

I Connected To This Song: Selena Gomez - The Heart Wants What It Wants (Official Video)

For me the visuals of what comes from my memory maybe the reason songs like this get me in my past feelings but not in ways of missing. It just is a way and reason why I loved sitting in my car at wee hours of the morning listening to HOT 105. This is really how I song cry, cry for real since the actual act makes me tired and gives me a headache. I hate crying and for me that means at times I reminisce I play Mariah or songs like this one in a mix just evokes the thought and overcoming it.

I don't know just a thing I learned when young around middle school when then Sarah McLachlan
 was the artist of choice for my sister and I to do this to. Nice when someone else is the same, I guess influences and the fact we slept in the same bed till I was seventeen and she fifteen. That too is a reason I love to cause it consoled me when not with her back when I left. Memories can be so jumbled with pain and happiness all at once.

Love This Video: Ellie Goulding - Love Me Like You Do (Official Video)

I love this song. One of those songs that just have you zoned out thinking of that special someone as they are with you intimately connecting. For me and all I have been through it is not during sex. It is those moments you really connect on a deeper level that is not always as romantically glamorous as the movies. Just those moments that get you in your feelings. Just my take listening to it while in "The Groove" as in work mojo.

Hibernation While Still On Beast Mode

When you have to hibernate while keeping things on course the way learned when unexpectedly before.

The point of learning from past trials is how to over come planed goals that call for same environment and mental rigors of those unexpected ones with ones expected. Very proud of this progress. The point when you are so confident and comfortable with all that will be and has been. When you see your dreams coming true though you must work harder than you ever imagined, you know you will be okay. You learn through much that if you went through worst, why not go through this like a breeze? Because you already proved to yourself before through the initial times you made it out. Those you lost were later seen to be blessings, blessings you now make on a regular back into the universe those negative elements go for you to receive breathe of positivity. Exhale the negative and inhale the positive, breathe.

I am so honored for my scars that still have many healing. Just now it does not sting when sour shit is put on them as reminders. I just counter it with alcohol now that I apply. I apply my hurt and the solution. I have found my MO as to dealing and have no qualms about them. I do not deal with snakes, that will never change. I do not do well with certain ways of people and understand we do not need to be friends. I just do not have to be in their presence if I can help it. I do not accept anyone's judgement either. Last I recall, I never saw them in the trenches with me to witness all not said. Like they say, "You weren't with me shooting in the gym?" Were you?

Why I Fell Off, Just Could Not Handle It

When some you been watching for years all of a sudden get rid of all they trained the web they were about to mislead many to a booking site now. Biggest no no anyone handling ones online presence could ever do. Thus why I just had to leave this community alone as in seeking those online and on Facebook the first source for HAY features as to professionals from the community. The whole goal was to meet those "On It" online that when shared the youth online could research them and find much. Yet the confusion online I deal with and must piece together shows me why there is still a huge niche market. Even when they band together it is still in a cliquish way.

"They do not do things like that. You may be a threat to what they see you becoming." -Anonymous Ass I Blocked Twice Before for Good. This was a reply to my inbox to them on why a certain group associated with a specific page that in the beginning came after me wrong and still so slightly now. Just one thing they are not in HAY Online's league as much as they care to understand. I asked why they do not share others much that are representative of the right ways to present online and this "Numb Nuts" tells me the above reply. I knew then he did not get what I was talking about a marketing and promotion wannabe should have gotten, sharing is caring for a brands relevancy. I even offered him many tools I still use to this day since I saw nothing of their Facebook and online presence which is sadly done with now. Not surprised though but really felt as I was positioning for the future they were too. Even then I should have peeped what four years of lies, failed promises of support and gossip that would have me slap and handle them all a way. So why my happy tail does not go to many functions. I would and have stepped to many on why they were blocked, we do not talk at all and why I just stop even collaborating,

These mavericks and mavens get so much love as in people flocking to them or doing pieces that just do not cut it. Yes, be a visionary and that is not refuted for a few that are not just taking opportunity but truly down for the cause. Yet, please if you care about your brand so much, stop letting friends steer you wrong just because they do it free or for less. Really, these are not the times online for any brand online to be playing. You do not make immediate overhauls to online presence, you just do not and any SEO specialist worth their weight would tell a client who is eager to chill and take it slow with drastic website redesigns that make them loose their rank. I love the fact that even when many who turned out to be snakes were reached out to by me, all I said has come to pass and my brand is still online the way it was intended. Had I associated the way many think helps HAY Online, it would suffer worst. I have learned to stop boosting egos that just did not deserve it more than the nepotism they built well that is "Bubble Like" one thing I hate when I see key signals of one. "Bubbles", I hate with a passion and only use the biggest for work. I learn much from it that helps.

I do not state my disdain to be their provider. I personally would not ever work for many I monitor. With SEO being a field that changes, understanding many's mentality and how they just are there to scrutinize something they do not understand would never open up to that headache as I learned with many I did much for and watch them go to others doing what I call, playing.  Just facts as to practice so for many privy to my "Going Ins" it is not because of jealousy or bashing. I take this serious because over fourteen years I see many within the community that just "Half Ass" while they feel to talk about me and my ways.

Yet when I do my research, vet my own prowess, and keep doing so for past over decade my stuff stays online while theirs fizzle away. I know why and would not dare allude to it, then I would really be talking too much. See when you understand who would be coming for you while you build a community of support for the youth, you do what I did. You link up to all who seem to be "Mover' & Shaker's which if anyone use to follow well from the start, HAY Online use to feature them until SEO and online tactics were mastered. The once well-known I though personality that charged me $400 to promote a Haitian Jonas event I sadly learned was another pod/clique relevant promoter and could not ever do for me what I have done for self. As my numbers grew and presence their own company was using Flash websites all wrong, promoting on one station affiliated with their own nonprofit but because I did not know anything about the Haitian community I entrusted those I thought could help. Sadly was I mistaken. While they had a buzz among a crowd that was never my intended target, I thought their work would get to mine. Until the cold asking in the streets of my demographic target started. None knew of the people I learned of and thought were the "It" crowd and still to this day they are unknown. So my leaving the community alone is not just for the games many idiots play with me wrong it is also because I learned something the past four years. The past four years was all "Smoke in Mirrors", the put on. Just my thoughts.

Life Lesson: I Have Moved On, Change In Effect

Today this Mother's Day Sunday, thanks to "Mama D" and Drieve, I started on a new path that affords me the flexibility I needed while making the income to keep on. The only difference is I have learned enough since 1998 when I left home.

I learned so much about myself with the patterns that lead to successes and the ones that lead to downfalls. When you are the one who knows your life. What many say about you to your face who do not know the root why you are treated a way or why you have it tough most of the time, can get to one. Yet, through life's journey and my health reasons I learned quickly to nip those things in the bud that got to me.

One being what people say about me in my face publicly and rumors I hear when brought to my attention. I was there during the times many try to postulate the why's to the little they are told or see. So it gives me solace to know that finally I got what I always longed for. One who understood those like me who truly rejoices in the smallest of acts, can understand why for me, I must acknowledge it.

The act of one being that figure and chance all know one needs and should receive but for some it is not easy to attain when all around you have the "They will be fine" attitude towards. Well I was not and those who dropped the ball should have known better. Known better than to tell their seed they allowed things to be purposely to teach a lesson. Now to come to that same seen at 25 and admit with a late apology they were sorry for holding me back. Sorry does not cut it for all who thought I was a chicken with their head cut off when all I was, was a young girl looking for a home, for real, for real.

Many will never understand why one like I with so many rings of a sad onion to still peel to overcome has to do all this. Some parts I let rot out with them the idea of ever rehashing and making it right. It is not fair to me who has moved on to let anyone come in years later and look for closure. My mental does not need it nor does my health. I wish many who say things along the lines, "Do not rob them of closure," yet they robbed me of 28 years of so much. I waited until my mental was more important. Nancy was more important, which is the ultimate reason my life is how it is. I never put myself first and as I learned to more people had to go. No time for the setbacks and feel that I confronted and discussed all my gripes over and over to switching stories tactics, blatant avoiding the set meeting with pastor and those involved and so much from the age of 10 when much was known. So unannounced to many who feel to lay their opinion, I did my part at ages I was not even supposed to be the one initiating them. So I learn to stop feeling like I must explain because when many realize they are never told the full story, one will do what I do to many now, just listen. I tell all now who come to me with their issues I only know of what you said here is my opinion. No more is one like I going to lay it down as if I have full command of another's truth. #LifeLeassons.