Reflections: Those Confusing Moments That Have You Reflecting

Just not feeling much that use to be anymore. February 13th will find me thirty-four and with all I have been through, I just am more tired than affected. Just know that the energy once put into even replying to someones provocation just not even of interest if again, same old.

So right now as usual loving the new planned additions of more control of HAY Online Media brand. Our freelance portal on a affiliate site is promising to help foster the supportive community that wants to really help those seeking assistance with DIY measures to their online presence.

Since much online within the Diaspora do not see sunlight unless pimping it on Facebook which I am reading has reached agreements to allow indexing but noticed result from FB for a while now. So that there was one thing that confirmed suspicion of Search Engine dreams. Then the suspect things, lol.

Facebook and I have a love hate relationship. Now the blogging sphere, I am getting back into and though been practicing much, there are certain things I want to more focus on now. Really all that was learned and also helping others understand online presence is also of focus. So a full plate on top of additions to client roster and then the updates to information online since keys ones made it and the demographic make ups are key focus for me this year. Being more efficient as in not just being on the Haitian version of anything. If any platform will do the same, that is where I will be sharing those talented youth who are so amazing. Just love it all happening while my personal life really sucks right now.

Just not liking the nightmares coming back at my age and the awkward feelings since much of what is being done is nothing new. Just as before I am tired of some limiting things. I just need to really close eyes to the things that are creeping in I do not want any part of. Just want to make sure VonRoss never experiences what I have and his angel, Rosslyn watches him as she did when he was in my womb. Just scary when so much you leave to another due to environments you choose not to subject you child to. He is my motivation as to why I go hard, but more so why I cut so many off. No time and again just convictions dictate to keep it real with my son. Also the convictions have me do all I do. I am blessed and lucky to have Ross as my son's father because he has a great role model who learned quick and has not been a disappointment. Just pray he is in favor always to be blessed with longevity to be there for VonRoss where I may not be.

I always felt things would be a way and see now it is why so much is being done at lightning speed and I am just along for the ride. No sense now to act scared. Just my thoughts right now among many more. #AquariusThing

Schizophrenia: Growing Up With A Parent Who Is Manic Depressive Schizo-Effective

Adele - Hello #YouTube

Listening to Adele, one of my many "Song Cry" artists that let me connect with my emotions. This song brings so many emotions to me at the times played for whatever reason it is. I am one that is true to my sign, Aquarius. I will be found more vocal than the anxious locked up in cage girl who loved the social scene but wanted so much to have her own space to just "Breathe". 

So as I listen to Adele, Hello song it makes me relive so much and reach the point of "Anymore". No more will I let my own demons hinder all other areas going well. I am soon to be married to a man who has shown me strength in a mans own transitions. He opens up to me in ways he does not to another and I realize that with appreciation. My world is as usual all up in the air, the only difference is this year it has not affected me as before. 

Before I would be a total basket case running away from the drama to come back to it later. That address it later aspect I have been working on has found me using this medium as one of the tools to release. I am grateful to Ms. Fab of Girl Talk with Ms. Fab because as I sought her for mentoring young girls, she has been helping me for four years heal. She has been working with me on my relationship issues and my inner conflicts of the me I see in relation to the estranged relationship between me and my mother.

This past fall a part of my world I thought under control became unraveled. I learned some horrible news. It has reinforced my mission to make sure my son is good and all other kids are. We always find meaning in a movement. Well mine started with a nine year old girl not wanting to be like her mother and save a nation. That sounds so cliche, but it is my truth. Thank you!!!#Hello #SongCry