Video Emotions: "Am I Wrong" for my feelings?
It is great to have someone stepping up to the plate and
better when their mother appreciates your presence in their child's life. I am
content and still I worry. Things that seem too good to be true have me wary.
After ten years of major life changes, one like me can keep skepticism the
demon of choice. Thus why I will admit I block, avoid and change whole demeanor
on a mate.
The #IronCurtain as one former co-worker at a Doctor's office I
worked at with Dr. Sabates once said, "Hunny take them curtains
down." I asked, "What curtains?" She said, "The ones you
have up not letting anyone in." I was very shocked she noticed my
reservations but wished she understood not so easy when many close have in your
eyes failed you in the most detrimental ways. Being 22 years old and first job
after graduating from Keiser Career College has one see the world daunting in
my then circumstances. I was paid well for my age and living on my own as usual
since age 18 on my own and from 16 turning 17 years old leaving home.
Things are a bit scary when you just feel so alone and
uncertain. Fast forward ten years and always a cycle of uncertainty that has
followed me all my existence with never having a set home makes one already
prone to be detached, more so. So that comment from the old woman who told me,
"Take my curtains down," was needed and always referenced as I do
start to over and over it seemed till this new relationship. I am a ball
buster, stubborn and endearing in my faith in any mate I am with. So I will
encourage growth and will turn away from foolishness as I observe.
I must see the intent and actions to feel secure, mmm...for
the moment. I just am happy that the signs panned out true and one who has
never been made to feel secure is a bit hesitant in accepting ones shows of it
towards life partner goals. I want it all and also will hold off allowing
certain vibes come my way as in the ones from a person showing it all as you
always wanted. Though rough around the edges as I, I am feeling myself a bit
more in this "Union" that is prayed for by a mother (his mother) any
child would wish for. The instant introduction after we started to date, the
constant counsel with her I would go into over any dilemma I invited hiatus
till things were held up, and the feeling of faithful support creeping in now.
I am experiencing what many tell you should be and sitting
back letting it happen. No matter ones speculations, those close namely Mrs.
Duperval full knowledge of all things keeps me grounded in my decisions with
actions taken to make sure my choice is final. I just always wanted stability
and very grateful for it in the relationship department finally. Now to keep it
moving to the next chapter I am anxious to take. Just have to pinch myself with
all happening.
