Mind and energy better. Just physical pain still getting use to. Every pregnancy is different as they say. Just want to make it past seven months with all test results coming back positive as they have when it pertains to the baby. Me, on other hand is having all types of complications.
I have been very reserved for good reason in sharing all details. Just know every other week in an ER. Dealing with many losses including a livebirth loss among having three pregnancies with one miracle baby makes one like me take caution in sharing joys of expecting. It is a pain that never goes away, the loss of a child but this year I faired better.
A man I soon shall be united with came around and was there for me this month when no other was on my baby's anniversary of birth and passing 28 hours later. I do not harbor contempt for another who does not care or acknowledge her birthday since she came suddenly and went suddenly. Just, I am human and as many wish birthdays or reach out to those who lost loved ones, I do my remembrance alone.
So the fact communication was never an issue, just how my beau and I do so was makes me assured I made right decission. Much growth on both our parts and just humbled I had someone for the first time acknowledge my Rosslyn without being told. I guess being pregnant and working hard on not stressing over the major tear jerkers to add to current health concerns made me stop my March tears and sleeping with her ern every night. By her April 17th birthday I stopped crying and had a smooth April 18th memorial of her in my heart this year. Just something I am use to, getting over major hurts, on my own. As for some who can truly relate, I have had to deal alone for real, for real. While I do not have many who reach out. Many have family, friends or others even if only one who remembered them to even say, "How you doing?" when it really counts for them.
Not saying all this to throw shade, it is how I feel and happy atleast one is learning me and working hard in their way to show me they want to be there. We all show our pride different and as I have much work to do in tearing down iron walls, so does he. Just feeling better and now off to blog on HAY.
Have a great Sunday!
