Insomnia Is A Blessing

Courtesy of Royale L'radin

It is 4:36 am on this Friday the 27th in Tamarac. Florida where I now reside. Something has me feeling jittery as usual. It can be a unfinished project of many or my missing my boyfriend. Either way I am up as usual hitting the ground running and monitoring.

When I was younger I had insomnia issues and found myself sleeping most right when I came from school. Now, I stay up most all day and take nap spurts if the current project being tackled allows or client calls allow. One thing I know for me, is I am more productive in these hours and the years of insomnia with how I went about it prepared me for the rigors of setting all I seek to.

A woman with a master plan that may seem far fetched, yet the results have proven worth the hard work. Shoot my sons father is a believer, just other areas if you ask him are shaky and rightfully so. I am how I was created and environment conditioned me. I just choose not to be defined by my past circumstances anymore and do not allow anyone today to step over the ME I am creating. Some love to tote their positive bull I call it. The bull of one is to just forget. Many say great things without instructions. How is it one can say, "Do not let it get to you" and not share how not to?

Art by with from AlexGrey.com - Insomnia

This is what grappled me at a young age when I said I would not be like my mother and flip for one reason or another. Now my opinionated mouth, that is another story and blog all together. I have been on a self help journey since first grade when the tutor my dad hired was boosting my self-esteem and my teacher then was too. I took it strange they cared about what I was thinking more than my parents. Then Mrs. Cheryl asked me questions about home and would always direct me to learn how to quiet my mind and calm down since I was very hyper. My behavior then screamed out attention and I was blessed to have angels since birth who guided me to all I know now. So the insomnia is directly related to upbringing and now it is a blessing that enables me to do so much along with having a great memory that I work a lot to keep sharp. No games. You have to exercise your brain and I have been since the moment I popped out between my mothers legs, been on the "Go Go Go" with stimulating my mind. First by the immediate nature around me and then when finally out of "Lock Up", the world at large when I was 17 years old. So late start as in getting the streets smarts, but I got it. One important thing though, I have learned to stop taking another's judgments as a reflection of the ME I am supposed to be or not. Embracing me even if up at this hour putting it in.